This is something that I have been struggling with for I do not care to remember how long...I seem to suffer from a form of social anxiety which seems to stop me from being able to be myself....it's quite strange actually...I've been psycho analysing myself I have come to the conclusion that there is no single trigger it seems that some how my mind decides whether someone is a "threat" or not and my reactions come from there...also if I work myself up by over thinking something I freak out....I'm sure I haven't always been like this but maybe I have....and I need help, I think it has something to do with thinking people are constantly judging me which I know they're not...argh! See I tend to not tell people things like this....no one knows I am and have been struggling with this for years because I think there reation will be bad or they will think I'm being silly..which is INSANE I know this but I can't get past it. I get the whole sweaty palms, racing heart, not being able to think and general mind freak out....I have decided I should definitely go to the doctor and see what they can do for me...quite funny considering I have been thinking that I should go to the doctor for years and get help but then I think that they won't believe me and I will walk out empty handed and ten steps backwards...I just need to pick up the phone and make a appointment which is something I used to struggle with making phone calls which I now do many many times a day so why can't I make this call????
I think just writing this has given me a chance to breathe...
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